A letter from her mom…

“I would do it all again, just to hold you for those moments.” On March 5, 2021 Delphi was born at 31 weeks. Her birth was highly unexpected. My pregnancy was low risk and I had minimal discomforts. Delphi’s destiny was to be a stillborn, but she had miracles to show us. The day before she was born I had an unplanned doctors appointment that I only had made because of one small and completely unrelated change. I felt off that whole day, but anxiety about being a first time mom and labor led me to believe that I was just stressed. I didn’t mention it to my doctor. I spent a long time talking to her about all of the natural birthing I wanted to do. Because it wasn’t a regular appointment my doctor almost didn’t listen to her heartbeat. But she thankfully did and it was abnormal. She wanted to be safe and sent me to the hospital to have a non stress test. After multiple failed tests throughout the night and two low scoring BPP ultrasounds we decided to try another NST. The time between the second BPP and the last NST test was only about 5 minutes. Delphi’s heartbeat had dropped dramatically and the nurse was having a hard time finding it. It was then determined that an immediate delivery needed to occur. After Delphi’s birth she was life flighted to the hospital in the nearest city. She was improving daily and her magic was showing through. But then two weeks after her birth we learned the devastating news. Her MRI results showed a level of brain damage that she would never recover from. She would never be able to breathe on her own without the help of a ventilator. She would never run, play, cry, sing, laugh, and live any resemblance of a normal life. We had to make the decision that no parent should ever have to make. Do we condemn her to a life of pain and suffering or condemn ourselves to the same. We chose to remove her ventilator and let her peacefully pass. But before doing that we chose to show her love and give her memories. We created a bucket list for her, of all the important memories we wanted to have with her. She was baptised, had a “Birth”-day party, watched many movies, listened to music, and went exploring outside. On April 9, 2021 at 11:11 am we removed her ventilator. We chose this time, 11:11 am, because that is the time you are supposed to say “I love you”. She peacefully passed in the arms of her great grandma in the early morning hours of April 10.
She had taught us so many amazing lessons in just her short five weeks on this earth. She taught us that we shouldn’t plan our whole lives before they even happen. That we need to live for today and not tomorrow. That life is not measured by the value of things you have done, but how you have chosen to spend the time you have. And she showed us what true love at first sight feels like. So to my beautiful baby Delphi, I will miss you with every beat of my heart and I will feel you in everything that I do.” Angel Aspiazu